Humour

Freakish weather is blamed for Buxton's tragic loss. A man from Fairfield told our reporter. I was out late last night walking my dog, as I usually do at around 10.30. When I heard a very strange noise high above my head. I looked up to where the sound was coming from.

There was this huge dark shape flying over very fast, and at first, I thought it was one of them UFO's. My poor old dog was scared witless and bolted for home with its tail between its legs. An official said, we can't understand how this could have happened? We are looking towards the public, to help us locate our missing roof.

A large and very deep hole has appeared in the middle of the Ashbourne road near the turn to Kings Sterndale. Police and council officials are looking into it.

Buxton Hit by big Freeze in the Winter of 99
Polar Bear found roaming in the Pavilion Gardens

Our source said earlier today, My friend and I were taking a leisurely walk through the gardens early this morning, where we were shocked to come upon a polar bear who was obviously hungry.

We had taken some bread out to feed the ducks, but we were forced to throw it to the bear and flee for our lives. My friend had managed to take a photograph though.

When asked if this was a common occurrence in the Buxton area, my source, who wishes to remain anonymous said, Not really, although a friend of mine did see a large and ferocious looking lion, up there in Corbar woods, sometime last year.

Barney, the Polar Bear is still in the Gardens!!

Barney, as Buxton locals have named him, has eluded capture since his discovery in the Pavilion Gardens last winter. A council spokesperson said.

He's caused us no problems so far, although for the safety of the public, we must try harder to take him into custody.

Visitors have been feeding him each day, but I think that just lately, a few of the lake's birds have fallen victim to his hunger.

Moles surface at last!

Members of Buxton's experienced and intrepid caving club, the moles, who were traversing the Giants hole/ Oxlow cavern system near Castleton, reached the end of their marathon underground trek early today.

Slippery Jim, as he is affectionately known to his friends, told our reporter. I thought this trek was taking us a lot longer than usual. We should have been out four days ago. I guess we just got a little lost.

The last thing we expected to do, was to find ourselves surfacing up through a manhole cover in the middle of Buxton's Spring Gardens.

Peak District Gurning Champion "pulls" one too many!

Bert Harberforce, five times local gurning champion and contender for the UK championship, was taken to hospital earlier this afternoon, when his bottom lip got caught on the top of his head and nearly suffocated him.

Speaking to me from his hospital bed, Bert told me, "I heard a lot of women screaming and I just passed out. I must have looked a terrifying sight!" Bert continued to practice as I left his bedside.

The semifinals are taking place this weekend, and large crowds are expected to show up for this important local event.

We delve into our archives for those magical scenes.

Visitors enjoying some jolly fun by the crescent, during the mid 1960s. What with flower power and other hippie events of that era, Buxton became more tolerant for the wild side of street entertainers.

Of course, Monty the gorilla was quite happy to put up with it all, and in fact, was quite prepared to watch that his friends didn't get out of control.

He's seen here just prior to retiring to live in his chateau in the south of France.

Knut has once again brought forth new and outstanding writing talents. This time he has created a book for younger children. A lover of animals, Knut has taken it upon himself to bring them some of his wonderfully amusing barnyard tales.

Through his magical words, he introduces the animal antics of characters like Clarence the talkative sheep, Olly the inquisitive owl and Barny the shy shirehorse, plus all their barnyard friends.

So, are we sitting comfortably children? then I'll begin...

For the first time ever, Knut was allowed to photograph his captors. Now you can share a part of his ordeal by purchasing his astounding story.

Don't miss out on this amazing story of human endurance!
His words bring to life his most fearful of nightmares!

95 pages containing 32 of the most fascinating photos ever seen of an alien race.

The latest book from the pen and camera of Knut E. Slack is both revealing and frightening too.

Knut is a quiet and unassuming man, one who avoids being in the public eye, a private person.


Whilst taking a holiday in the south of England during the mid 1980s, he found himself in the market town of Fareham photographing his favourite subject, trains.

One particular event of that holiday was to remain with him forever. He was abducted by an alien race from beyond our galaxy.

Now, Knut writes about his terrifying ordeal at the hands of his alien captors in his latest book.

Read about the things they forced upon him in vivid detail.